The Treasure of Friendship
Written by: Laura Blackwell, MSSA, LISW
Making and keeping friends is an essential life skill with immense impact on our quality of life, whether or not we have partnered with someone. Keep in mind that many people are interested in making new friends and in preserving their friendships. Here are some tips to consider as you enjoy visits with current friends and as you meet new people. Start with extending your social circle. Your local community is filled with opportunities for contacts and connections that can lead to friendships. For years, church, clubs and workplace gatherings have united people with common interests. Consider the possibilities for you.
CHURCH is a very social setting with regular activities, classes, social events, and volunteer opportunities. Church groups encourage friendships to develop by connecting common groups, such as men, women, preschool through college age groups, singles, couples, and families. They also promote by area of interest such as music groups, helping people, overseas projects, working with children, sports teams, fundraisers, and repair or building projects. If you participate regularly in church activities, consider inviting a neighbor, friend or co-worker. Explain what they can expect at the event. Introduce them to your friends. Help them to feel comfortable and welcome.
CLUBS promote a specific interest, such as parenting, nature conservation, exercise or sports, art, music, theater or reading. Volunteer opportunities support the club’s common cause and look for community involvement and support throughout the year. If you are regularly involved in a club, consider your other friends and acquaintances for possible involvement.
WORKPLACE gatherings may be as informal as lunchtime potlucks or as formal as groups formed to lose weight and quit smoking. Your shared workplace creates an instant common interest as well as increased likelihood of seeing people you already know and care about.
Of course, just being at a church, club or workplace can only lead to friendships if you talk to people. Make eye contact and smile. Make small talk about the weather (“I’m so pleased to see sunshine. Aren’t you?”). Offer a compliment (“That’s a nice car. How do you like it?” or “Lovely dress. Where did you buy it?”). Keep the conversation light and cheery. When you’re going to be with someone for awhile, such as in a meeting or working on a project together, Introduce yourself saying, “Hi, my name is…” Once you get to know people through your encounters with the group, you may identify several with whom you are comfortable and interested. If you want to encourage contact beyond the scheduled events, offer your phone number or email address.
Making and keeping friends is one expression of love that is available to everyone at any time of year. Extend yourself social circle. Talk to people to get to know them and share your interests. Treasure the friends you have and open yourself to make new friends. Consider the possibilities for you.